A Letter to Apple

Apple Computers
Cupertino, CA
USA

Dear Mr. Jobs,

I have been a loyal customer of Apple Computers for the last three years, and have been very well served by my 12" Powerbook. However, I am concerned in that I have found a few bugs with my laptop, and my AppleCare Insurance is due to run out at the end of the summer.

These bugs are small but quite numerous: specifically they are red and have six legs. Ants. For some reason they are quite attracted to living underneath my keyboard and within the mainframe of my system. There are a few theories as to why this may be the case.

One (from a good friend of mine) is that these ants are somehow attracted to the glowing apple light on the case, and thus think they can find such sugary goodness on the inside of my computer. I do try to keep food away from my laptop at all times, but the chips within may also provide a tempting snack.

Interestingly, running a Norton AntiVirus scan on my laptop actually helps to flush out the bugs within my system. The heat produced from scanning the disks drives the ants out from underneath the keyboard and out from the fan and speaker ports. Which is where I wage all out war on them.

However, the ants do keep coming back. Might you have any suggestions for dealing with this problem? I though only PCs suffered from such bug issues. I may have to switch to Ubuntu, which I imagine might work better in African environments. Please do let me know soon.

All the best,
Joe
Accra (which means "anthills"), Ghana

P.S. Solving this problem may give Apple an edge in the $100 laptop rush. You may contact me for further consulting.